I Miss the Misery
by NinaKennett
Summary: Bonnie is about to get married to the man that she thinks she is in love with, until someone from her past pays her a visit and teach her a lesson or two about love, life and death. OneHOTShot.


**I Miss the Misery**

All alone at her apartment, she couldn't stop looking at herself. That mirror couldn't reflect enough of her happiness, Bonnie thought.

Obviously.

She was looking like a most beautiful dress she ever saw in her life was on her body. It was her wedding gown.

A beautiful new take on the traditional ball wedding dress.

The gown had stunning hand-beaded detail on the bodice, front and back, and a gorgeous, full gathered skirt. A handmade and almost invisible zipped closure on the back. Made of satin and organza, the white fabric went down the skirt like waterfall.

The pearl bridal tiara, made with Swarovski pearls and Swarovski Austrian crystals, had a veil attached to it that went fully all the way down to her hips, hiding her hair, tied into a bun.

Her outfit was every bride's dream.

She didn't want to take it off, even though the wedding was only the next day.

Also, she was thinking about how her groom would react to the vision of her walking down the aisle towards him.

She was sure Damon would like it.

They were planning this wedding for a while, in the hopes of living a normal human life. It would be a huge ceremony, with an even bigger party at the Salvatore Mansion.

It was past midnight, so Bonnie started taking her outfit off very carefully, starting with the veil, in order to go to bed.

"Are you taking it off for me?"

The male cold voice that crossed her room and hit her like a lightening, startled her.

It's been a long time she didn't hear that voice. But how would she forget it?

_It was his voice._

She slowly turned around trying not to look scared or surprised. Although she was sure he could hear her heart beating.

"What are you doing here?" She felt his gaze burn her skin.

"I came to confirm what I've been told. Had to see it with my own eyes" He was leaning against the door, with his arms crossed against his chest "And try to stop this madness"

"You can do that by getting the hell out of my room and never ever coming across me again" Bonnie calmly placed the veil in its box, trying to pretend he wasn't there.

How would she do it though, her hands were already trembling?

"Oh, c'mon Darling!" The tone of his voice changed from sarcastic to serious. "Did you really think that I would let it happen? Do you really think I am going to let you belong to anyone else?"

She stared at him. He was so unpredictable. What is he doing there now? What is he planning one day before her wedding?

"Let what happen?" It was her turn to cross arms around the chest "As if anything in my life needed your approval" a sarcastic smile finished her line. She turned around and undid the bun in her hair.

He ran towards her in a blink of an eye. When she notices, he is holding her against the wall.

"I see you still like to challenge me"

"And you still like to torture me. Let me go you are hurting my neck!"

"You never asked me to stop before"

She immediately threw him across her room, making him hit the desk. He let a guttural "fuck" escape, and a laugh while trying to get back up.

"I forgot you could do that, witch" He fixed his broken arm, grinning in a pain that only lasted minutes "But I didn't forget all of the other …tricks… you can do, I guarantee"

"I don't know what you are talking about. Get out of my apartment"

"Oh, no you don't? Do you want me to remind you? I have some pretty graphic details in my mind that I can describe to you and maybe bring your memory back…?" he sat down and crossed his legs, smiling." I can tell you about the time when you wanted my brothers to watch us on the dinning table-"

"Who the hell do you think you are to come here, bringing this stuff back and thinking you have any saying in any matter of life?"

Kol's attitude changed. The provocative smile gave place to twisted lips. He paced furiously to Bonnie, getting a hold of her arm, and her hair, forcing her to stay in front of the mirror.

"Look at you, darling" His face changed again, his eyes glowing with insanity "You are not even afraid of me" He pulled her hair again making her cry lowly. "You are asking me who I think I am, but you fucking know the answer" he whispered maliciously in her ear.

While she was staring at them in the mirror, his fragrance took over her senses, which started to fail. Yes, she knew who he was, perfectly. She was fighting to get control over them, but damn, he was too close.

His breath on her neck… Bonnie felt her head tilt to the side, subconsciously, slowly closing her eyes as if giving in.

She forced herself to open her eyes again and fight.

"You will never take over me again Kol"

She could not forget the hell she's been through when she let Kol get into her life. He transformed and deformed her. And now she was clean from him, she wouldn't let him get inside her head again.

All her sins, all her stigmas, everything inhuman inside of her always felt the need to come out whenever he was around. And he knew it. He kept on pushing her, digging deeper and deeper inside of her until she couldn't resist.

"You are mine Bonnie Bennett, and you know it." He held her jaw, so he could speak into her ear and not allowing her head to move. Bonnie started fighting to be released, only in vain. "And this is us, whether you like it or not. The day you surrendered yourself to me, you knew there were no turning back."

When he talked to her like that, nothing could make her heart stop pounding. He knew how to twist her, how to bring her to her knees. _Not again, Bonnie, please not again_, she thought to herself.

"Really Kol?" She laughed "I am not yours. Tomorrow, I am going to walk towards the man of my life, and going to marry him, and he will give me what you never could" She screamed through her teeth "We will be very happy and you can fucking DIE for all I care"

He turned her to face him "There's only two ways you are going to leave this apartment Bonnie: with me or dead"

Those words had some effect on Bonnie, making her stare right into his eyes. Her face, motionless.

She could feel some tears come down her face effortlessly. That's the effect he had on her. She couldn't even identify herself, her actions or feeling when he held her so close.

"Why can't you let me be happy?" She barely moved her lips to ask it.

Suddenly, he let go of her, turning away, putting his hands on his head. He couldn't look at her. He was doing it again, what he promised he would never do.

_He was making her cry._

There was something about Bonnie that drove him to the edge. He lived long enough to learn how to control any type of feeling that he could remotely have.

Bonnie was the only thing in the world that could make him doubt if he really learned that.

He is a psycho. He was pure evil and the monster inside of him was all that he had left. He never looked for compassion, love was a big bullshit and humans' fear was the fuel to his murderous ways.

Still, Bonnie never feared him. And he loved how brave she was.

He wanted her and he taught her how to want him too. . He just couldn't resist the urge of taking her in the most deprived ways they could think of.

He was addicted to her body, her personality, her soul. Innumerous times he found himself on the edge of taking her life from her, for stopping savoring her was the hardest task of all.

Whenever he took her blood, it was like it caused him a drug trip. It gave him an instant and momentary dementia and in the same way it gave him life, it took his sanity away. Damn, he loved it. No other blood could do that to him.

The danger of both natures together made her decided to end it; otherwise he would be the death of her.

Turning to her again, he held her face into his hands.

"You know why! I can't let you go Bonnie; you know this. Understand it: you are the only one I want, the only one who knows me entirely. I only left because you begged me too."

She pushed his hands away "Look, we cannot be together! You know what can happen"

"I don't give a fuck!" He screamed punching the mirror breaking it. "I am going to kill Damon Salvatore and kill any other motherfucker who ever tries to touch you" Screaming, he locked his eyes on hers.

Bonnie smacked him as hard as she could. "I will not let you screw up with my life again, and if you try anything against me or Damon I will kill you, it doesn't matter if it kills me, I will kill you once for all"

Her action just dragged him towards her. He pulled her by her waist and with a kiss, those harsh words turned into sugar inside their lips.

Bonnie tried to fight it, but her body wasn't corresponding.

He gave her some space to breath, breaking the kiss purposely to see her reaction. He was a complete jerk, but not to Bonnie. Never ever did anything against her will. He needed to know she wanted him too. _He actually liked to hear her beg..._

Bonnie pushed him so he could fall sitting at her chaise. She pulled up the front endings of her dress and sat on his lap. Letting go of the skirt, she held his head and kissed him fiercely.

Kol missed that sexy kiss. She could feel her nails scratching the skin under his ears. His hands were around her back trying to find a way to open that gown. He couldn't find the stupid zipper.

She was moaning against his lips and that just flip the switch on for him.

She removed his t-shirt, and threw it against the mirror he broke. She grabbed his hair, forced his head back and slightly bit his earlobe, tracing with her tongue all the way down to his shoulder.

That was the feeling he was searching all this time. It didn't matter how many people he would have to kill, no other man would feel her touch again.

That was the feeling only Bonnie could give him. It was the closest he could get from being alive. That's what it was: her touch was a breath of _life_ into his _dead_ body.

He gripped her ass to get up carrying her, and walked to her dressing table, sitting her there.

He kissed her ardently; making her head hit the mirror behind them. She laughed inside his mouth while he sucked her tongue. He started ripping the silky skirt open.

Bonnie didn't care. She was with one of her hands on the back of the mirror and the other one looking for balance. She was breathing heavily, listening to the sound of her dress being torn from between her feet to her hips.

Kol found her delightful smooth dark skin longing for his touch. He took her thighs into his hands and opened her legs. Her underwear gave in easily to his ripping. He could smell her arouse and didn't wait another minute to touch it.

Bonnie was waiting for it; all she could do was let the electricity crossing her body take over. She couldn't believe the imagines crossing her mind. Those years away from Kol just filled her up with….nothing.

She knew he would be her death sentence if that predatorial relationship didn't stop. But that moment right there, that touch made her understand how important he was to her life.

He leaned over her, one hand against the wall and the other massaging her bulb slowly. What a sight it was to see Bonnie, the sweet innocent girl turn into a raving wild animal. Her chest up and down, her mouth moving according to the movement he would do with his finger.

He remembered the first time he met her, at that stupid dinner her family threw her in order to keep her under surveillance.

"You bastard" her voice brought his full attention back to her. She knew was he was doing to her and devilishly smiled at him.

He slightly bit her lower lip and slipped his tongue at it. The feeling made her shiver. Her eyes were close, but she felt that suddenly his hands weren't on her anymore. When she thought of opening her eyes, she felt his tongue touching the most private of her body, making her arch her back.

This was hallucinating. His tongue was trying to deeper and deeper or he would lick it and blow a little cold air, giving her an uncontrollabe sensation.

With the little of sanity that was left, she pushed his head away from her and stepped down the dressing table, grabbing him by his pants.

She brought him to her bed, and pushed him making him fall at it, feet still on the floor.

She got on her knees in front of him and started undoing his belt and zipper. He tried to help, but she thought he was trying to stop her, so she moved his hands away with her power, keeping them at his back.

He tried to move, but he knew it would be impossible.

Without losing his sight, she mouthed his manhood fully. Up and down her mouth went, slowly trying to fit it all in.

The hot embrace took Kol by surprise. His eyes rolled to the back of its orbits, and the fact that he couldn't move his hands drove him insane, making him murmur a few profanities.

She took enough time to suck, tasting him. She let go of the power that was holding his hands and he instantly pushed her by her hair, making her stand up turning her around and finally ripping of her bodice, in a one single pull, letting the remains of her dress fall to the floor.

Standing up, they restarted the fiery kiss again; he broke it by bringing her up on his lap and taking her boobs with his mouth.

Kol couldn't take it anymore and laid her to the floor, forcing her legs open.

Without mercy, he invaded her, trying to quench his never ending thirst for her body.

For him, it was like searching for the sun. He knew how dark it could be without his Bonnie.

Bonnie gnarled her body. He was fully inside of her and she could feel the penetration perfectly, which was making her again lose control over her senses, including her powers.

Everything in the room was flying and falling. She couldn't care less, and Kol was used to it.

He was thrusting into her in a supernatural speed. Bonnie felt like her folds were ripping open, trying to embrace him into her the maximum it could.

He held her hand tight, listening to her cursing his life and screaming nasty things that made him smile, and immediatly taking him to the limit between_ his death and her life._

Bonnie wanted something before the end. She grabbed a piece of the broken mirror next to her and with the little strength she had left, she cut a small line on her neck.

"Taste me Kol"

He didn't hesitate. His eyes turned black and the veins around his eyes were visible. She was sucking her blood avidly, not stoping pounding into her.

The only thing that scared Bonnie when it comes to Kol was the way she wanted him to drink her. As if she was begging him to take her life, asking him to drain her soul. That was the moment Bonnie was afraid of; just because that was the moment she wasn't afraid of anything : death made sense and she wasn't afraid of losing her life when he drank from her.

She got to the limit between her life and the death he could bring to her.

"I love you Kol" she whispered to his ear when she finally orgasm.

Kol felt the squeeze of her walls around him and released himself inside of her. Getting his head up, going through that sweet lunacy her blood gives him.

He came back from his moment of insanity and looked at her. She was pale and blinking slowly.

Bonnie didn't regret at all what just happened.

After 2 years, there she was, under him again, saying those three words that damned her forever. There is no other way. How was she going to marry Damon? How was she going to get into that church and say "I do" if the only thing she want to do is Kol?

She put his grey t-tshirt on and laid back on the floor beside him. She had to do it. Better not to live than live a lie.

"I want you to kill me" She closed her eyes.

"What?" He bent over her.

"I want you to kill me"

"What are you talking about Bonnie?" He couldn't read her face.

"Damn Kol, can't you see? I can't live without you" she opened her eyes "but I don't want to live with you either" he held herself "Both things make me miserable"

His eyes grew "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with me? I've spent the last 2 years thinking about you all the time, dreaming about your touch. I've been a wreck since I made you leave. Fuck I even miss the misery this relationship brought me… I can't let go, I can't say no to you ever…." more tears.

Somehow Kol understood. It was the same with him.

"I'll change you then. I'll turn you and"

"No! I won't change what I am. I am a witch. I can't become a vampire. The same way I don't want you to change what you are for me"

He caressed her face. She was the prettiest girl he had ever seen. He knew he would regret his next words but he couldn't afford losing her.

"Bonnie babe, I'll disappear, you will get married tomorrow, and be happy for-"

"I don't want to" she cut his words "I don't want to live a lie. I don't want anyone else but you. But I know this will kill me sooner or later. And it will deteriote your sanity. I am not being dramatic Kol. We both know how our natures weren't made to be together. I rather do it now than let our bodies and lifes fall apart slowly"

Every time Bonnie let Kol drink for her she would pay for it with her own health. Her nose would bleed and her senses fail among other things. A way her powers had to punish her for what she was doing. For giving her precious blood to him.

But that wasn't all. They had the sickest relationship of all. Bonnie darkest dreams and fantasies would come alive when Kol is around. Being with him was turning then both. He would be good, but it was turning her dark. A mix of serenity and perversity. Good and evil. Love and hate. For both.

"Then you kill me. I don't want to live without you. What is immortality for if the closest to life I can get would be dead?" He held her on top of him and kissed her dearly "I am ready to give up immortality if it's to keep you alive. Bonnie, I lov-"

"No Kol, don't say it. If I hear you saying it, It will make it harder..."

She kissed him passionately, hugging him while sitting on his lap. She couldn't help but cry bitter tears while doing so.

He got up and started dressing up "I'm going to find a stake so you can put it through my heart".

"No" Bonnie didn't even move, and her face was wet and swollen.

"Bonnie I won't take too long; I promise I will come back with a dagger from the white oak tree" He wasn't lying. He wanted to at least spend his last minutes alive with her.

Bonnie knocked him down the floor and with her power she held him still with his arms stretched open.

"What are you doing Bonnie?" He found out what she was doing when she started enchanting some unknown words "No Bonnie, don't do it, you are going to die if you do it!" He was screaming at her, but it was as if she couldn't hear him and he couldn't move either "BONNIE!"

She got on top of him and placed her hands on his chest.

"I don't want to live if its without you" she was crying soflty now "I love you so much" She was trying to breathe and the first line of blood came down her nose "I'm sorry babe"

The chanting words coming out her mouth were louder and louder. And the tears coming down her face blurred her vision. So she closed her eyes and tilted her head up.

Kol was fighting screaming for her to stop. He didn't want her to die for him like this.

She screamed the enchanting one last time.

Kol's last breath was released under her thighs that were around his abdomen.

Bonnie gasped and held her mouth crying copiously at the sight of her love.

Kol was dead; and his body would turn into ashes sooner or later.

She knew her time was coming and she could feel her life vanishing away from her body. With her nose and ears bleeding, she used her last minute of life to seal his lips with a last kiss.

Falling on top of him, Bonnie faded, giving her last breath, letting her heart beat for the last time against Kol's chest.

* * *

_2 years ago_

_Bonnie was invited to dinner at the Mikaelson's. They were trying to friend her, in order to keep her powers under watch. _

_She was ready to go home, the whole thing was ridiculous. No way she would put her powers under a vampire's comand. Klaus better have another think coming._

_Getting out of the Mikaelson's mansion, she got blocked at the door by the youngest of them._

_What a dickhead, Bonnie thought.  
_

"_So you are the witch that can kill my brother Klaus?"_

"_You go straight to the matter,don't you?" She was caught by surprised. While everybody in that house was pretending she wasn't there only because of her powers, the one in front of her wasn't caring much about hiding it.  
_

"_So are you the one who can kill Klaus or not?"_

"_Yes" She tilted her head to the side "And kill you too, if you ever talk to me again. So get out of my way"_

"_Mmm…so feisty" He looked down at her, striping her green tight dress with his eyes "It's a good cause to die" He smiled._

_His gazing left her a little bit uncomfortable.  
_

_"Are you going to move or I'm gonna have to move you?" Her eyes were confronting his.  
_

_"Oh, you are going to make me fall in love if you keep threatening me in that dress"_

_Bonnie looked curiously at him. "It would be a pleasure to kill you, Mr. Mikaelson " She grinned at him and started making the wind run wild outside.  
_

"_Oh done! See I'm in love. But please, don't forget your promise: you have to kill me with pleasure"He finally moved noticing her powers where in motion.  
_

_Bonnie started walking, hoping to never have to deal with him again. _

_She hated vampires. They were always trying to have control over her._

_And that was, definitely one she wouldn't bother to kill._

* * *

**Dramatic, I know lol.**_  
_

**I really do hope you guys like it. It was my first time writting a smooch X]  
**

**Im gonna practice I promise!  
**

**And practice my english too!  
**

**Reviews kinda let me know what I am doing right or wrong so, if yo feel like, please do so =]  
**

**Kisses guys, Keep it Kennett, see ya =]  
**


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